Thursday, January 19, 2012


I'm a pretty cynical person, and I like the cold hard truth. A little too much, perhaps...but I also love a good quixotic crusade. Mostly, because I'm sure that I'm right about said cause, far before the average population, therefore making myself feel more superior than I already try to elevate myself to. For shame.

Relatedly, (this all ties together in the end) I was reading a good old friend's blog the other day. It was beautifully written, logical, yet rambley (just the way I like it), cynical of all the things I'm prone to rant about, and yet still humble, still searching for truth. I was in love, and a little jealous that my blog seemed a little fluffy next to it.

So I pondered why. You see in "real" life, the most common words out of my mouth are, "so lately I've had a problem with/have been thinking about {fill in rant about religion, constraining social norms, or conspiracy theories}," in fact I started a sentence that way the other night and Brandon actually said, "uh-oh," lucky for him it was a short one. And so you see, I can be rather a "go getter", shall we say, in my everyday life.

And then I thought about the other day when I was talking about a blog that I really like to someone else, and she said something along the lines of this, "anyone can put up some fun pictures and list all the fun things they do, and it all looks so glamourous and perfect," and that's true. We all know those white washers, they make every little thing into rainbows and marshmallows, and it can be kind of annoying . But my minds tells me that there is something to it; it teaches gratitude to oneself. To post only the best from your life helps you to frame your life into that mindset. To let all the great things in your life stick, to ruminate over you, while the rest fades away (at least for a while). I started this blog called beatific (of, possessing, or imparting a state of utmost bliss) ponderances  (gravity, consequence) to share the good in my life, so that hopefully I could see it more. I wanted to put the most pure of my thoughts down (not that I always do, some are pretty silly, but a little salt with the sugar my mama always said*) So if you know me in my day to day life, you'll still see that storm cloud furrow my brow, and you'll sometimes hear my garrulous diatribe; but here you will hopefully smile, ponder, and I pray that you will find a sense of peace that exists not only in my life, but in yours as well. 

*my mama never said that.

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